Ok so here is a try for chapter one (its not all of it just the first little bit BTW) of DarK InsideR. Just seeing if it is Ok or not plz comment

Waking from darkness to light and colour seemed strangely odd. Like the dream I knew I had but couldn’t remember. I could feel the single droplet of sweat that ran down my forehead and the cool breeze of an autumn’s morning, the faint hint of rain that blew with it as well. Oh how I loved the smell of rain, especially when it hit the dirt and was strong in the air. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. So that when I opened my eyes again I could actually see, instead of it being blurry, and so that I could see the bright swirling colours that I hadn’t reached yet.
I opened my eyes and gazed forward, right at the blank white ceiling. In my mind I dared myself to look around, look at the bright colours of the world. But I resisted, just kept my eyes on the ceiling because I knew, when I eventually looked around, I would be disappointed. I would not see the green of the grass outside or the brown of the bark on the trees or even the clear blue of the sky. It was all, only, black white and grey. Shades were all I could see of objects and it bugged me.
And yet every morning I would wake up feeling that single droplet of sweat, wouldn’t be able to remember my dreams and I’d wake up daring myself to face the reality that I did not want to face and all of it really bugged me.
Although I did see some colour, or what I thought colour might be at least. Some sounds, smells and occasionally feelings gave off this ‘colour’ depending on what it was. And, though I had only ever told one person, I could see eyes in colour and DayStars as, well I guess, stars. Bright multi-coloured stars. But that was the entire colour that I had the privilege of seeing, in sounds, smells, emotions, eyes and DayStars.